There are no two ways about it, human beings are extremely complex beings. No matter how simple one deems oneself, it is extremely difficult to completely comprehend one’s own personality. That is probably why “understanding ourselves” is the basis of multiple branches of science, including philosophy and psychology. Not only that, the betterment of one’s own personality has to begin with understanding oneself.
The goal of this journey to self-betterment is to eliminate or at least mitigate the impact that our negatives have on us. In order to accomplish this, the first step is to identify what our negatives are, what we commonly term as insecurities. These hidden potholes have a tendency and potential to impact every facet of our lives; be it physical, mental, social, or emotional.
So, let’s try and take a stab at what can be done to understand these little blemishes and what can we do to improve ourselves by attending to them!
Identifying our insecurities
Dealing with our insecurities is preceded by their identification, recognition, and acceptance. So, without any further ado, let’s dive into understanding how to identify these nefarious little pain points.
Let me find something analogous to elucidate this point. Let’s say your friend of 5 years, named Jake asked you to tell him about his shortcomings. I’m sure in a fraction of a second you would be able to list some of them down. However, the only reason you could do that with such velocity is because of the years of observational data that you have on Jake.
Similar to this, in order to identify our insecurities, it is imperative that we observe whatever is going on within ourselves. Monitor your self-talk. See how you respond in situations where you’re not comfortable. This would give you insight into an overview of what you’re looking for.
2. Ask for feedback
It’s interesting to think that while we’re constantly in the fear of being judged, it can actually work out quite well for us in situations like this. Knowing that people observe you and have opinions of you is a great strength that can be capitalized on.
Ask the people you trust of things that they think might be issued for you. Getting constructive feedback is immensely powerful in recognizing your insecurities. But be sure to have a strong will to listen and not lash out on the people you’re asking help from. People don’t really like that, believe me, I know.
3. Take a look at the people around you
No, not literally. This is meant in a way that you should evaluate the relationships that you have with people around you and close to you. Your parents, your close personal friends, significant others, what have you.
The current state of relationships with these people with an objective view not to criticize them, but to understand your position in them is a great way to unclutter the mess in your mind about what are the things that you might want to work on.
Dealing with our insecurities
Now that we have talked about the correct ways of going about identifying our insecurities, let’s try and find ways to deal with them and be better versions of ourselves in totality.
1. Make a list
Make a list of the impacts that these insecurities have on our lives and relationships is a very basic yet effective step in dealing with them. It’s very intuitive really. When we know what could go wrong, we have the ability to correct our course in order to avoid such happenings.
2. Talk it out
Having understood what’s wrong, confide in someone you trust. Know that people around you, your people, are there to help you and would be safe places to process our emotions. However, in case you don’t want to involve people from your personal life, consider therapy. Talking to a trained professional is a tried and tested way to deal with your insecurities.
3. Be grateful
Practicing gratitude gives you a much-needed shift in your emotions that lifts your spirits and gives you newfound confidence that you might have been lacking because of your constant focus on your “flaws” as you deem them. Therefore, think about the times you did something awesome and remember that you did it!
Dealing with your insecurities might be a battle as long as life itself. But remember, don’t let one little pain point bother you so much that you forget how amazing at everything else you are!
Read Also: The Uncensored and Unexplored Side of You!